It has been an interesting morning around my house. I suspect in most families it isn't as big of a deal. I dropped Catrina off at a private school this morning and it felt so odd. She is there to take the PSAT. It is a big enough deal to be taking the test itself I suppose. The strangeness was not in the test but in the process. For the first time ever, I dropped my daughter off at a school and she is nearly 17. For the first time ever, she was in school with other children in a situation without her parents. This is also odd for her because she is not used to taking a lot of tests in general and to take one that lasts around 3 and 1/2 hours is a pretty big, nerve wracking deal!
I think it was when Catrina was around 4 that I started thinking about what was going to happen regarding school. When she was 5 she needed to go to school just like everyone else, right? This is just what we do. Everyone does it. I just couldn't bear the idea of sending her off to school...without me, her Mommy. Am I the only one that felt this way? How would she do it? I would have no say in what people told her, what they taught her, who her friends were, etc., etc., etc., Wouldn't she be confused and scared? My heart was breaking at the thought of putting her on a school bus that didn't bring her back until later in the afternoon. What was going to happen to her for those 6 or so hours a day? It just didn't feel right...not natural to be ripped away from your small child....not natural to be ripped from your Mommy's arms. We thought of private school and that helped some. At least the people that would be caring for her would be a lot more like minded but still....
Now here we are, well over 12 yrs. later and I finally took her to a school. The good news is that although it was hard and although it was WAY out of my comfort zone (and hers too) it felt right. It is ok now...she is old enough now. I am sure I will still be concerned when it comes time for college classes but I will have had 13 years to help prepare her. (More importantly she will have had over 18 years for God to prepare her.) Over 13 years to help us both get ready for the big steps that are ahead of us. I am sure it will be painful but it won't be the same thing that I struggled with years ago. It is amazing to think we are only a year and a half away from the end of this homeschool journey for her. I wouldn't have changed a thing.
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