Just A Measure Of Fat-ness

Off topic note: Have you seen this screen cleaner yet? Cute, funny, and just a little bit yucky. ;-)
Now on to the real post for today.....

Good news and bad news. My husband and I joined a gym right next to our house. I am pretty excited about it. Well, I WAS pretty excited until....

After we signed the contract and gave them the money for this privelage they guy dropped the bomb on me. Apparently, they "give" you a complimentary session with "the trainer". Hmm, sounds pretty good until I realize what this is all about. They are going to weigh you, talk about your goals, and meausure your BMI. At first I was pretty traumatized that some guy was going to stand there and weigh me. We are at a gym after all so I doubt he is going to be a paunchy, out of shape guy. Then the thought hit me....BMI? Isn't that where they measure exactly HOW FAT you are? No way! This is not cool. Getting weighed is bad enough but an exact measurement of how fat a person is? That does NOT sound cool!

Below is a photo of this evil device.

Well, last night was the big night. We were even there early. After seeing this man, he was as I suspected, young, in shape, great muscles, etc. Great! That is the guy that gets to weigh me and then tell me exactly how fat I am. What fun! We should all do this from time to time right? You should if you want to experience falling on the floor crying your eyes out...if only in your mind. I had to at least look like I wasn't going to have an emotional breakdown.

I am writing this post to let you all know that I did survive the ordeal (and we have a gym membership). It was rough but I am sure in the long run it was helpful. I did walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes so that is something. Prior to weighing and measuring the fatness (and during) I am SURE that my heart rate was up.

Here is a picture of some women using the above mentioned evil device. Notice who is NOT laughing or smiling.

Sad fact from my fat measurer guy....60% of the people that join the gym give up in 4-6 weeks. What? I was really shocked by that figure. That will NOT be us. If nothing else going through this trauma WILL make me stick to it. I have to prove to Mr. Almost (younger) Val Kilmer that my fatness percentage will change.

Of course, it could have been worse. He could have measured this way.....

Of course, what would any weigh-in/BMI time be without writing it all down on paper? Lovely. The worst part of it was that he KEPT the paper. Somewhere (not far from my own house) there is a written document with my name, weight, and fat percentage. Ugh! That is just wrong....maybe that is one way they keep you coming back. You always know they have the goods on you. Don't make them mad or they may tape your weight and BMI on the window of the gym!

And here we have a picture of a woman who OBVIOUSLY needs to measure how fat she is. (snicker, snicker)

Honestly, the guy was nice but then again why shouldn't he be nice? HE gets to weigh ME and tell ME my exact percentage of fatness. I think it is time to turn the tables on these people. Of course, it wouldn't do me any good to measure how much fat he has because it would only depress me. Maybe I should get to talk to his friends/family and find out what thing he does that he shouldn't do. Does he sneak twinkies once in a while? Does he lie, cheat on his taxes, or make fun of all those people that come in there with too much fat?

Do they have a device for measuring that? Maybe we could call it the FMI (Fat-people, Make-fun of Index). How much do you make fun of the fatty-fat-fat people that you measure, Mr. Fat Measurer Man? Hmm?

I had a revelation after posting this. I think I have been looking at this whole experience wrong. After my husband had his BMI analyzed, and then me I should have looked at my tormentor and said ........

I win!!! :-)